How to Make Mealtimes More Enjoyable for Your Picky Eater: Creating a Calm Mealtime Environment for Your Family

As a feeding therapist specializing in picky eating, I know firsthand how challenging mealtimes can be for families. The stress of trying to get your child to eat a balanced meal, coupled with their resistance to new or unfamiliar foods, can turn what should be a time of connection into a battleground. However, creating a calm and enjoyable mealtime environment is possible with the right approach and mindset. Here are some tips and solutions to help make mealtimes more enjoyable for your picky eater and your entire family.

Set the Stage for Success

Before you even sit down to eat, it’s important to set the stage for a positive mealtime experience. This begins with creating a routine around meals. Consistency helps your child know what to expect, which can reduce anxiety and resistance. Consider setting a regular mealtime schedule, giving your child a 10-minute warning before meals, and involving them in simple meal prep tasks.

Tip: Keep the environment calm by minimizing distractions. Turn off the TV, put away toys, and create a pleasant atmosphere with soft music or gentle conversation.

Start with Small Portions

A common mistake many parents make is serving large portions to their picky eaters in hopes that they will eat more. However, a plate full of unfamiliar or disliked foods can be overwhelming and increase mealtime stress. Instead, start with small portions of each food, including one or two items you know your child likes. This approach is less intimidating and helps build confidence as your child sees that they can manage the food on their plate.

Tip: Use a compartmentalized plate or have a separate plate or bowl. This can help children who are sensitive to foods touching each other or who can't tolerate new foods on the same plate, feel more at ease.

Create a Positive Mealtime Atmosphere

The mood at the table can greatly influence how your child feels about eating. Try to keep the conversation light and positive, focusing on non-food-related topics. Avoid pressuring your child to eat, as this can lead to power struggles and increase resistance. Instead, model a relaxed attitude towards food and praise any attempts your child makes to try something new, even if it’s just a tiny bite or a sniff. If your child makes negative comments about foods try to pivot and change the topic to take the focus off the food.

Tip: Share stories, ask about your child’s day, or talk about fun plans for the weekend to keep the mood upbeat.

Offer Choices

Giving your child some control over their meal can help reduce mealtime anxiety and encourage them to try new foods. Offer a variety of options and let your child choose what they want to eat from the available items. This not only empowers them but also increases the likelihood that they’ll eat what’s on their plate.

Tip: Offer a choice between two options, or present a small selection of foods in different colours, shapes, and textures. For example, offer carrot sticks, cucumber slices, and a small portion of hummus, allowing your child to pick what they want to start with.

Incorporate Food Play

For many picky eaters, the sensory experience of food can be overwhelming. Allowing your child to explore food through play—whether it’s by touching, smelling, or even playing with it—can help them become more comfortable with new textures and tastes over time. While it might seem counterintuitive, food play can be a valuable step towards increasing acceptance. For your older kids, try examining the food like a "scientist".

Tip: Set aside time before or after meals for sensory food play. Use non-mealtime hours for more hands-on, exploratory play with new or challenging foods.

Be Patient and Persistent

Change doesn’t happen overnight, especially when it comes to picky eating. It’s important to be patient and persistent, offering new foods multiple times without pressure. Research shows that it can take 10-15 exposures to a new food before a child is willing to taste it, let alone eat it.

Tip: Keep offering a variety of foods, even if they are initially rejected. Celebrate small victories and remember that progress may be slow but steady.

Create Family Mealtime Rituals

Creating rituals around mealtimes can help make them more predictable and enjoyable for your picky eater. Whether it’s having themed meals each week, a fun pizza and movie night once a week, rituals provide comfort and structure. They also create positive associations with mealtime, making your child more likely to engage.

Tip: Involve your child in creating a mealtime ritual that the whole family enjoys. This can help them feel more invested in the process.

Making mealtimes more enjoyable for your picky eater is a journey, but with patience, persistence, and the right strategies, you can create a calm and positive environment that encourages healthy eating habits. Remember that every small step counts and that building a positive mealtime experience will benefit not only your picky eater but the entire family.

By fostering a relaxed atmosphere, offering choices, and being patient, you can help your child develop a more adventurous palate and create lasting mealtime memories for the whole family.

If mealtimes remain a significant source of stress despite your best efforts, it may be helpful to seek professional support. A feeding therapist can work with you and your child to identify the underlying causes of picky eating and develop personalized strategies to address them.